Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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