I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
