Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
