If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
