sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
