All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
