Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
