Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
