Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
