I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
