Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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