we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Church boner. Awkwardddd
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
