As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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