I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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