last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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