Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
