ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
