if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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