dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
