Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
