This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
