..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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