The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
