im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
