If that was your dad, he is hot
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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