dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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