Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
