Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sorry about my life...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
