Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just cut my nipple shaving
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i out mim tonsoeep
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