We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I've blown a few things in my day
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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