If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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