How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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