when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
