Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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