friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
