Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
