i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
