Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
