I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
