So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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