I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
