he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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