Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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