She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
