you have to choose: penises or morals?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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