In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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