I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
