Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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