this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
