Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
