I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
