just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize