I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Im part way to drunk.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
