How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think i have herpe
just one?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
