last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He? As in you personified your dick?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
