I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
