Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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