I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My bed smells like the plague
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize